Shattered

On Friday night we had pizza for dinner, as is our tradition. The kids played a while after dinner, then we got them ready for bed and tucked them in. Josh and I were just settling in with some Almond Joys and the laptop to watch some episodes of Psych.

Then, the phone rang. It was 8:32p.m. Josh got a stricken look on his face and motioned me to come sit down with him. He put it on speaker phone.

On the other end was my father in law. He was sitting with my sister and brother in law, and his wife. He said he has serious news for us.

Mom has been having some problems with her memory for some time. We thought it was attributed to menopause, as this woman did birth sixteen children, and that has to take a toll at some point or other. But it had been getting progressively worse. We all noticed it, but didn't know what to do, and didn't want to embarrass her anymore than she already was. She couldn't remember simple words. She couldn't put her thoughts into words.

She tried some natural remedies first, but they didn't do much to help. Finally, it got to the point where we encouraged Dad to get her some medical help; see a neurologist. She did, and they did an MRI.

Mom has a brain tumor. It's not a small little ball in her brain; it has tentacles that are growing into her brain. It's not curable. If she doesn't have surgery, chemo and radiation, she has little chance of living more than a year. If she has all those things, she has a chance at 5-6 years, but we don't know what her quality of life would be like.

When I heard the news, I got sick. Literally, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Things like this don't happen to people in real life, especially to sweet, good, kind women like Mom. She has given up everything for her family. She has raised sixteen children, and still has time to bless me and her other children in law.

For example, a while back I had started looking for bed-skirts, as I decided our bed would look better with one. I didn't mention it to anyone, but a few days later Mom showed up and she had randomly seen one, thought of me, and bought it. And it matched perfectly. That's just one small example.

The first few days we were in total and complete shock. I cried a lot. I threw up a lot. I was sick to my stomach constantly. Waking up and remembering the news was torture.

But then, I got peace. I believe in God. Mom is a godly woman, and she has served and been blessed by God. We can pray. I don't know what God will do. I don't know if He'll perform a miracle or if He'll call her home. But I do know that He will take care of us. He will take care of every single one of her children and grandchildren. And He will take care of Dad.

The verse in my side bar, in Jeremiah about God knowing the thoughts He has for us, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give us a future and a hope... I believe those words. My own mother received those words when she was widowed as a young woman in her twenties with 2 small girls. I know those words to be true.

So, I pray. With everything in me, I pray. For Mom, for Dad, for the kids, for my husband, for myself, that God will send the most excellent surgeon to do the surgery, that there will be little side effects, that she won't suffer.

I can't put into words how hard it is to be so far away during this. But at the same time, it removes the opportunity to "do" things and instead puts me in a position to call on God. To turn to Him in my need and anguish, instead of doing busy work.

See? This woman's life and now this trial she is going through is helping ME get a better connection with God. That speaks volumes.

If you are a Christian, we welcome any prayers you can send up on behalf of this dear woman.