The Proposal

Ha ha, I'm so glad you enjoyed my little tale of how we ended up together, and the part Mamma Mia played in that. =) I kinda like it myself. ;-)

Ok, so here's the deal: In our church we don't just date all loosey goosey. It's something that is taken very seriously and usually it's more of a courtship. Meaning, we don't go out with someone unless they are marriage material and will most likely end in a proposal. It may sound strict and regimented, but it's each person's individual choice how they want to do it. I personally am glad I did it that way, as it saved me from some heartache.

Anywho, so when I got that email from Josh, I knew it was serious. I didn't know at that point that he'd been attracted to me for 3 years, or that he had busted his booty at work and school in order to be able to provide for me one day. He told me all these amazing tidbits later. Like, that's why he worked graveyard full time and went to school full time. And how every time a "Harris" truck would drive by, he would smile because it reminded him of me. (My maiden name was Harris)

And that's why it was so heart wrenching to have to write him back and say "no" the first time. Because he WAS a good guy, but I was just not in a place to even want to be in a relationship, much less a serious one. And quite honestly, saying no was the best thing that could have happened to either of us. It knocked Josh right off his high horse (and oh boy, was he ever on one!) and it gave me time to observe him and see who this guy REALLY was. And see how he reacted to a crushing situation.

Josh admits now that it was good for him, but also that it was one of the hardest things he has been through. He didn't realize how proud he was, how he thought he was a great catch, and how he never even fathomed that I'd tell him no. No, I didn't even want to GET TO KNOW HIM. It was just so brutal for him. But you know what he did? (Well, after crying through a movie and getting drunk, but that's neither here nor there...) He went to God. He went and prayed for grace and help and I could see that. He is a genuine Man of God.

When he was born, he was going to be named Steven, after his dad. But when my father-in-law held him for the first time, that is what came to him. "Joshua, mighty man of God." And thus, they named him Joshua. =)

So anyway, I really got a deep respect and admiration for him and knew that I could safely trust him with my heart.

When I came back and asked if he was still interested, he was quite shocked. I remember that Jen had even asked me if I thought I'd ever change my mind at one point, and I firmly and decisively said NO. Not unless God changed my heart. It was seriously like I had blinders on, and God hadn't taken them away at that point. So for Josh, he thought it was a done deal and he was prepared to be a bachelor for the rest of his life. (Isn't that kind of sweet!?)

So anyway, finally, with the help of Mamma Mia and Delta airlines, white t-shirt, jeans and a construction vest ;-D the blinders came off. *cue Hallelujah music and angels singing*

I was so incredibly nervous before our first date. I was jittery and scared and hyperventilating. I should back up a bit and give you some more background.

My youth time ROCKED. I traveled all over. I went to Paris with my best friend, and we saw the Mona Lisa and the Eiffel Tower. We had a hilarious hotel with an elevator the size of a small closet. Like, so small we couldn't both fit in with our luggage. One of us had to go up, then the other sent the luggage up, and then finally the last person came up. It was so much more hilarious in the moment. I got my head smacked between subway doors. I got my backpack stuck between subway doors. My friend fell down the subway steps and stubbed her toe and we stopped the bleeding with a stray subway ticket. She slipped and fell in a minuscule puddle of water at the movie theater. It was fabulous.

So, I wasn't really in any hurry to get married. Plus, after losing my dad at a young age I had a really, really, really hard time opening my heart up to guys, because I didn't want to be hurt again. I'd lost my dad, and also a very dear friend who took me in under his wing and then was killed in a car crash. And I just couldn't bear to deal with any more grief when it came to me losing the men in my life that I loved the most.

So it was very terrifying for me to open myself up for that kind of relationship.

But I distinctly remember, as soon as I got in his car, he said, "Hi. How are you?" And all my inhibitions and fears dissipated. He was NORMAL. And from that moment on, I knew. I knew I'd marry him. We were together basically 24/7 for those ten days. We took long drives, went for walks along the river, looked out over the city at the lights. We opened our hearts to each other and made sure we had the same views/thoughts on the important stuff. We were. So we both knew that this would end in a proposal.

I'd told him that I wasn't into a big, showy proposal. Like, I didn't want him to get on one knee in front of a whole restaurant full of people and then everyone would be looking at me. No, thanks. So he took that to mean I wanted a low-key one. Very low key. He'd been telling me to "keep Monday open" so I suspected that he was planning to propose that night, as we were going to a romantic restaurant.

But then, before the weekend, we were out shopping together and stopped at Red Robin for lunch. And he got this goofy look on his face and said, "I have an idea!". And I thought he was talking about our plans for that day. But he wasn't. He said, "What if we got engaged sooner rather than later?" And I thought, Yeah, that'd be fun!

And then he said, "Ruth Anne Harris, will you marry me?" Right there in Red Robin. And my head must've spun around and I was super confused and I couldn't figure out if he was serious or not. Because honestly, this guy is a romantic to the core and I sort of was expecting a really romantic proposal. So I said, "Yes, I'll marry you." and then promptly had a panic attack for 45 minutes. Josh was all giddy and told our waitress, who brought us champagne. Yeah, they serve champagne at Red Robin. Who knew?

And he is talking away and I'm sitting silently like a stone. Thinking, "Holy Shnikeys! I've been with this guy ten days and now we're engaged and did he REALLY just ask me to marry him in RED ROBIN!??!?" So after 45 minutes and wasting a perfectly good burger and fries, the shock wore off and the joy set in.

Our plan was to surprise his family at the beach. They take a family trip every year, and they were on the trip at the time. So we hopped in his sweet Jetta (we both miss that car so much!!) and headed out to the coast. We walked in and got several reactions. This was a complete shock to everyone, as no one really had a clue since A) it had only been 10 days and B) I had told Jen I wasn't interested at all, but neglected to tell her I had indeed changed my mind and C) Josh had a conversation with his parents at one point after I'd said no. They had been teasing him about getting married and he got all teary and told them it wasn't funny, as he'd actually just been turned down by a girl.

SO. People were shocked. There was laughter and crying. His dad simply looked at us, shook his head and walked out the door. "Uh oh" I thought. "This can't be good." TURNS OUT that he thought Josh had just moved on to the next poor girl, after having his first choice turn him down. :-D He laughed really hard and was quite relieved to find out *I* was the one who had turned Josh down and his son wasn't a player. ;-)

Our parents were overjoyed. We grew up together and our families knew each other, so it wasn't like we were suddenly engaged to a stranger.

So that's how I got engaged at Red Robin. I can laugh about it now, but it was actually really hard for a long time. Especially after Josh told me all his ideas of how he was going to do it, until I said I didn't want a big proposal. He was going to rent a digital billboard that was on the freeway home and have them write "Ruth Anne, will you marry me? -Josh" so I'd see it. He had some others that were good, too.

And to be fair, he DID do it over. He lit lots of candles, put rose petals out, had romantic music playing, and got down on his knee and asked again. =) I said yes again. =)

It sure makes anniversaries cheap, to be able to eat at Red Robin instead of a fancy, expensive restaurant! :-D Hee hee.

So, there you have it. Our story.